It’s Veterans Day and the kids are home from school. I’m ruminating on the question of how much they – or I – understand about Veterans Day and how much they – or I – are appropriately observing it.
Veterans Day is so different now from when I was their age. Back then, veterans seemed like very old or very remote people, and wars were historical events. Growing up, I thought American involvement in wars had been relegated to history. I never imagined wars going on during my lifetime – or a Veterans Day that meant honoring your neighbors, peers and acquaintances rather than elderly men who did something a long time ago.
But much has changed, and I was probably wrong in my perceptions back then even without those unexpected changes. Now, Veterans Day finds us acquainted with soldiers at all level of involvement. Rick’s grandfather is 90 years old and survived the Normandy invasion. Men we know at church served in Vietnam and Korea. Men and women far younger than me – and not much older than Tim, it often seems – are returning from combat or just now being sent out. Though the kids aren’t close to any military troops enough to hear their stories of war, Tim could easily name a dozen adults he knows who are or have been enlisted.
As with some other holidays, like Martin Luther King Day, the challenge is to make this a day of observance and remembrance rather than just a day off from school. The kids’ school has a nice Veterans Day tradition that takes place on the day before the holiday. They invite local vets to join some of the grades for a singalong and reception. I asked Tim last year how many of the vets he recognized, and he could name a few – some from church, some the elder family members of our friends. He didn’t name any younger veterans, which I think is partly because there aren’t that many young people living in our town and Tim doesn’t know a lot of people in that age group anyway. I think this event at least gives the kids a visual snapshot of who veterans are – some of them, anyway – even if they don’t absorb in depth what these people have done.
Rick just noted an online message board where several people had written “Happy Veterans Day.” He commented, “Veterans Day is not supposed to be happy; it’s supposed to be somber.” But I disagree with him. My feeling is it’s not supposed to be happy or somber; it’s supposed to be a day of gratitude, a day for recognizing and appreciating those men and women who have done something I cannot imagine having the courage to do.
I don’t think my children fully appreciate this – for that matter, I don’t think I appreciate it as extensively as I should – but I’m doing my best to explain it to them and to give them access to the information that will eventually help them understand just what Veterans Day means. As with so many things parents try to impart to children – from the importance of education to religious beliefs to the value of a good book to the worth of making nutritious food choices – sometimes the best we can do is provide them with useful information and let them absorb it in their own way.
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I like how you are thinking about these things. So many of us treat it just like a day off of school and don't think about the real reasons behind it.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately war is something that doesn't seem to be going away. I like how you say that, as parents, all we can do is try to provide useful information and hope our children will absorb it.
You are doing a great service to them by not just skimming on the surface of life, but trying to delve deeper; asking questions as much as answering them.