Back-to-School Night

I joked earlier today that Back-to-School Night is the official start of the fall social season in my circles, the same way a big charity ball in early January is the start of the gala season in Palm Beach. Geeky as it sounds to confess, I love back-to-school night. I’ve loved it ever since Tim was in kindergarten. Partly I like visiting the school and finding out what’s planned for my kids for the upcoming year, but I also like running into all the other Carlisle parents we know. Wandering across the school plaza after dark, waving and greeting and calling out, it always feels to me like a sort of Halloween night for adults, just a great night to be out after dark running into everyone we know.

We’re usually invited half a dozen or so times during the school year to various classroom events, and of course it’s fun to be there when the kids are, to hear them read or perform or whatever the event of the day is. But it feels special, in an almost furtive way, to be there on parents’ night without them. It feels a little like we're spying on them, even though they’ve been preparing all week for our visits with special notes, bulletin board displays, folders of deskwork for us to examine. Or maybe for me it’s the adult equivalent of playing house. Without the actual occupants of the second grade room there, I can pretend I’m a second-grader myself, and all these books and art supplies and other resources are for me.

The school is like a club, a membership club to which we’ll belong for only those years until our two children reach high school. Maybe it’s because our tenure is so tightly defined that it feels so special to me. People who don’t have school-aged kids are still welcome to plenty of the events: concerts, plays, fundraisers. But only while the kids are in grades K through 8 are we really part of the fabric of the school. Even before I had children, I suspected I would like the grade-school years best as a parent; now that we’re in the thick of them, I can’t imagine that I’ll be any happier when my kids are older. I love having them be part of the school community. I’m delighted with the teachers, the policies, the procedures, the general ambiance. I like the winter holiday concert and the Spaghetti Supper, the kindergarten rainforest play and the seventh grade musical, the first day of school and Field Day, the Chinese New Year celebration and Move-Up Day. With three years between the kids’ grade levels, the elapsed time between Tim’s first day of kindergarten and Holly’s eighth grade graduation is 11 years and 9 months. We’ve got about 6 years and 9 months left to go.

Rick and I get a lot of support as parents. My list of people in addition to Rick whose presence serves to fortify my efforts goes on and on, from the other moms in Holly’s preschool playgroup to our pediatrician, plus lots of friends, neighbors, community members and, more than anything else, family members. But also playing a major role in my kids’ upbringing is their school. And I so happily welcome the evening every fall when we get to go and re-establish contact with the institution, its staff, and all the other members of our not-so-secret society.